The best of (Top 100)

Joe was sitting in his favorite bar having a few beers after work, when a beautiful woman sat down next to him. She looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't quite place her.

"Hi, Joe", she said. "I haven't seen you in a long time."

Joe was puzzled. "Charlie, is that you?" What are you doing dressed up like a woman?"

"Well, Joe. It's a long story, but the bottom line is that I always felt like a woman trapped in a man's body, so I finally decided to do something about it. After a number of operations, I am now a woman."

Joe was initially shocked, but after admiring Charlie's breasts, he said, "Damn, Charlie, I bet it was pretty painful to have those implants put in."

"Yeah, but that wasn't the most painful part."

Joe's gaze lowered, and he got a sick feeling in his stomach. "Oh shit. You mean you had your penis and testicles cut off? I bet that was awful."

"Yes, that was pretty painful, but that wasn't the worst part."

"I don't believe it, Charlie. What could possibly be worse than that?"

"The final operation was the worst.
That was when they did a craniotomy and took out half of my brain!"

A New York family bought a ranch out West where they intended to raise cattle. Friends visited and asked if the ranch had a name.

"Well," said the would-be cattleman, "I wanted to name it the Bar-J. My wife favored Suzy-Q, one son like the Flying-W, and the other wanted the Lazy-Y. So we're calling it the Bar-J-Suzy-Q-Flying-W-Lazy-Y."

"But where are all your cattle?" the friends asked.

"None survived the branding."

Q. How can you tell when a Jewish girl has an orgasm?

A. She drops her nail file.

A doctor was holding a new baby that he had just delivered.

The baby looked up at him and said, "Are you my father?"

The doctor said, "No, I am the doctor that delivered you." Then the doctor handed the baby to the nurse.

While the nurse was cleaning the baby the baby looked at the nurse and said, "Are you my father?"

The nurse said, "No, I am just the nurse." Then the nurse gave the baby to the new father.

The baby looked at him and said, "Are you my father?"

The new father said proudly, "Yes! I am your father."

Then the baby started poking his father in the forehead over and over again and said, "So how do YOU like it?!"

How can you tell if a blonde stuffs her bra?

They'll be sqaure because they forget to take the Klennex out of the box.

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The best of (Top 100)