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A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men saying the following;

"Emma come first. Denna I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Denna I come once-a more."

"You fowl-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

Hey, coola down lady," said the man, "Imma justa tellun my friend howa to spella Mississippi."

How did the blonde die drinking milk?
The cow stepped on her.

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
Frosted Flakes!

What is it when a blonde blows into anotherblondes ear?
Data transfer.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"I wonder if it's mine?"

How do you confuse a blonde?
Give her a package of M&M's and tell her to put them in alphabetical order.

Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?
Because she read that one child out of every four born, was Chinese.

Why did the blonde lose her job as an elevator operator?
She couldn't learn the route.

Why did the blonde drive around the block fifty-seven times?
Her turn signal was stuck.

Why did the blonde ask her friends to save their burned-out light bulbs?
She needed them for the darkroom she was building.

Why are the Japanese so smart?
No blondes.

Q: Why aren't there many blonde gymnasts?

A: Because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor.

Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home?

A: It took her that long to discover that a 14-inch Viking was a television.

Once upon a time there were two men who had gone cliff climbing.
Suddenly, one man lost his footing and went tumbling down to the bottom. The other man frantically screamed, "Roger!", and was relieved to hear a faint reply.

"Okay Rodge," shouted Barry, "I'm gonna throw a rope down to you, so wrap it 'round one of your legs and.." but before he could finish, he heard Roger call "But both my legs are broke."

Barry suggested his arms, to which the reply was "They're broken too!" So finally, Roger held on with his mouth. Barry struggled to pull up the rope, and when he was nearly there, Barry said, "You right there mate?" to which Rodger replied,"YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS........"

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