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An old cowboy dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him.
After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?"
"Well, I have spent my whole life on the ranch herding cows, breaking horses, mending fences... I guess I am," replied the cowboy.
After a short while he asked her what she was.
"I've never been on a ranch so I'm not a cowboy, but I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think of women, when I eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women," told the young woman.
A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another drink.
A couple sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
"Well, I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian!"
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There was an American on a buisness trip in England. He got on a train, and was unable to find a seat. The man walked up and down the different cars untill he discovered that an old lady's tiny dog was taking up a whole seat.
So he said to the lady, "Hey, you think you could move your dog? I can't find a seat."
Now this wasn't a nice lady, so she replied, "You rude American! My little poodles needs somewhere to be!"
So the man walked up and down the cars again, looking for somewhere to sit. He came back to the lady and the dog. "Look lady, I need somewhere to sit. Can you please put your dog on your lap?"
Of course, the woman's reply was about the same as the first one, "You again?! Go away you rude man, don't bother my poodles!"
So for the last time the man searched for a seat as the train started. He came back to the woman angrily, "Move your mutt lady!"
The woman went into a fit of frustration, scolding the man like a child.
Finally he'd had enough and grabbed the dog and threw it out the window. The woman sat in disbelief untill the man accross the isle said, "You damn Americans, you do everything wrong!
You drive on the wrong side of the road, you eat with the fork in the wrong hand, and NOW YOU THROW THE WRONG BITCH OUT THE WINDOW!"
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