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"Hard drive" -- Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.
"Keyboard" ---- Place to hang your truck keys.
"Window" ------ Place in the truck to hang your guns.
"Floppy" ------ When you run out of Polygrip.
"Modem" ------- How you got rid of your dandelions.
"ROM" --------- Delicious when you mix it with coca cola.
"Byte" -------- First word in a kiss-off phrase.
"Reboot" ------ What you do when the first pair gets covered with barnyard stuff.
"Network" ----- Activity meant to provide bait for your trot line.
"Mouse" ------- Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order to get a free case.
"LAN" -------- To borrow as in, "Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck."
"Cursor" ------ What some guys do when they are mad at their wife and/or girlfriend.
"bit" --------- A wager as in, "I bit you can't spit that watermelon seed across the porch longways."
"digital control" -- What yore fingers do on the TV remote.
"packet" ------ What you do to a suitcase or Wal-Mart bag before a trip.
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Two Texans were having the Blue Plate Special at their favorite truck stop when they heard this awful choking sound. They turned around to see a lady, sitting a few bar stools down from them, turning blue from the Armadillo burger she ate too fast.
The first Texan said to the other, "Think we oughtta help?"
"Yep, reckon so", says the second.
The first Texan gets up, walks over to the lady and asks, "Can you breathe?"
She shakes her head, "no".
"Can you speak?" he then asks.
She shakes her head, "no", again.
With that, he helps her to her feet, lifts up her skirt, and starts to lick her on the butt.
She is so shocked, she coughs up the obstruction and begins to breathe again, with great relief.
The first Texan turns back to his friend and says with a smile, "Funny how that Hind Lick Maneuver works every time!"
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