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The Ghost Poo:
The kind where you feel poo come out, see poo on the toilet paper, but there's no poo in the bowl.
The Clean poo -
The kind where you feel poo come out, see poo in the bowl, but theres no poo on the toilet paper.
The Wet Poo-
You wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.
The Wet Cheeks Poo-
That's the kind that comes out of your butt so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water, or splash-back.
The Second Wave Poo-
This poo happens when you think you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to poo some more.
The Brain Haemorrhage-through-your-nose Poo-
You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.
The Lincoln Log Log-
The kind of poo that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.
The Power Dump Poo-
The kind that comes out so fast, you've barely got your pants down and you're done.
The Liquid Plumber Poo-
This kind of poo is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log Poo.
The Spinal Tap Poo-
The kind of poo that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be coming out sideways.
The 'I-think-I'm-turning-into-a-bunny' Poo-
When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splishy sounds when they hit the water.
The 'What-the-hell-died-in-here' Poo-
Also sometimes referred to as The Toxic Dump. Of course you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out a-gagging and a-gasping for air.
The 'I-just-know-there's-a-turd-still-dangling-there' Poo-
Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop.
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Advertise:
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There were three city mice sitting at a bar. The first mouse takes a
shot of tequilla, slams the glass on the table and says, "I'm the toughest mouse in this city. I'm so tough that I walk throughout the house collecting mouse poison, return to my nest and grind up the pellets with my morning coffee -- just for an extra jolt to start off each day."
The mice look at each other. The second mouse slams his whiskey --
throws his glass on the floor and says, "I'm the toughest mouse in this city. I'm so tough that I go up to the trap outside my nest, I trip the lever and make the trap flip in the air, I catch the bar on its way down, bench press it a few times, twirl it over and over with my feet -- then I toss it to the floor, and take the cheese for breakfast. It's all part of my morning routine."
The third mouse looks at the other two. Bored with the conversation, he sets down his glass of beer and says...
"I've had enough of you two. I'm going to go home and screw the cat!"
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