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61.
Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning ?
A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.
62.
Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A1: Introduces themself.
A2: Walks home.
63.
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".
64.
Q: How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
A: Fertilised.
65.
Q: How does a blonde like her eggs?
A: Unfertilised.
66.
Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex?
A: Opens the car door.
67.
Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.
68.
Q: How do blondes turn the light on after sex ?
A: Kick open the car door.
69.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who was disappointed when she got her driver's license?
A: The instructor gave her an "F" in sex.
70.
Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A: More head room.
71.
Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
A: More leg room.
72.
Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
73.
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.
74.
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
75.
Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.
76.
Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A: An Air Bag.
77.
Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
A: Cause she blows the horn!!!!!
78.
Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
79.
Q: What is the worst thing about sex with a blond?
A: Bucket seats.
80.
Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band/team?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Rams?
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Advertise:
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New IRS Tax Policy
GOVERNMENT NOTICE
January 1, 1995
To: All Male Taxpayers
From: IRS
RE: Notice of Increase in Tax Payment Form 1040P
The only thing the IRS has not yet taxed is your penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 20% of the time it is pissed off, 30% of the time it is hard up, and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On top of this, it has two dependents and both are nuts.
Accordingly, starting January 1, 1995 your penis will be taxed according to it's size. To determine your category, please consult the chart below and confirm this information on page 2, section 7, line 3 of your standard 1040 form.
*12-10 inches --Luxury Tax --$50.00
10-8 inches --Pole Tax --$30.00
8-6 inches --Privilege Tax --$15.00
6-4 inches --Nuisance Tax --$5.00
Please Note:
-Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a full refund.
- * Males exceeding 12 inches must file for Capital Gains.
Please do not request an extension
Sincerely,
Pecker Checker
Internal Revenue Services
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