Men are like department stores.... their clothes should always be half off.|
Men are like vacations.... they never seem to be long enough.
Men are like computers... hard to figure out and never have enough memory.
Men are like coolers... load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
Men are like chocolate bars.... sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
Men are like coffee.... the best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
Men are like horoscopes.... they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Men are like plungers... they spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.
Men are like cement.... after getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.
Q: What do you call a hooker and four blondes?
A: Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks.
Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: 'Cause everybody gets a turn.
Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A: 'Cause she's been laid all over the country.
Q: What important question does a blonde ask his/her mate before having sex?
A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate?
Q: Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm?
A: *Who cares?*
Q: Why do blonds have orgasms ?
A: So they know when to stop having sex !
Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm????
A1: She drops her nail-file!!!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She say 'Next'
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder
A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes
A6: The batteries have run out.
Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A1: They can't remember the number.
A2: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.
Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"
Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond's ear?
A: Data transfer.
Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A: Because they don't know any better.
A: They are easier to keep amused.
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: "What's a lightbulb?"
A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"
Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine?
A: "Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!"
Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A: A whine cellar.
Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.
Q: What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common?
A1: They both have a black box.
A2: Both have a cockpit.
Q: What is the difference between a blond and a 747?
A: Not everyone has been in a 747
Q: What does a dumb blonde say when she gives birth?
A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine?
Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant?
A: Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.